Veteran’s Vietnam PTSD Struggles Continue, Yet Love and Community Bring Healing

Jimmie Moddrell, a Vietnam War veteran, reflects on his tumultuous journey after returning from 800 days of service in Vietnam. He was discharged with a simple piece of paper containing strict instructions for his family: never to startle him, never to touch him unexpectedly, and to maintain a respectful distance.

Despite not being directly involved in combat, Moddrell has endured the long-lasting effects of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) for over five decades. His experiences in Vietnam haunt him nightly, often waking in a panic, gripped by the invisible scars of war.

During his time in Vietnam, Moddrell operated as both a mechanic and a guard at various base camps, including the infamous Darkhorse Base Camp and Bear Cat Base Camp. The tension was palpable, as each day he faced the threat of ambushes and incoming fire. He recalls the fear that came with every duty, exacerbated by the presence of the toxic chemical Agent Orange, which he believes has contributed to his ongoing health issues.

Military leaders justified the use of Agent Orange, arguing it was necessary for troop safety. Moddrell firmly disagrees: “It was a gamble that shouldn’t have been made,” he states, highlighting the serious health risks posed to soldiers during and after the conflict.

After returning home, Moddrell faced further challenges. He felt the military didn’t adequately support veterans adjusting to civilian life, leading him to hide his emotional struggles during discharge evaluations. He recalls his exit interview with a military psychologist: “If you say yes to having problems, you’ll be locked up,” he noted, resigning himself to a façade of normalcy.

His post-war life has been marked by numerous jobs, as he tried to navigate relationships and cope with the intense emotional turmoil stemming from his service. Divorced twice, he acknowledges that the strains of PTSD affected his marriages, though he now finds solace in a stable partnership with his third wife, Janita, whom he met while working at a motel. Their bond has provided mutual support through both good times and bad.

Today, Moddrell has channeled his energy into art, music, and golf, finding therapeutic outlets for his creativity and stresses. He attributes some of his recovery to the recent changes in veterans’ healthcare, particularly the Pact Act signed in August 2022, which enhances benefits for those exposed to toxic substances.

Moddrell is grateful for the help he received from the Vet Center in Lake Havasu City, where he has been an active participant for the last two years. He emphasizes the importance of seeking help and nurturing supportive friendships for fellow veterans grappling with PTSD.

The emotional struggles of veterans like Moddrell emphasize the need for continued advocacy and support systems, ensuring they receive the care and resources necessary for a successful reintegration into society.