Unseen Burdens: Young Heroes Stepping Up for Wounded Veterans

Kylie Briest’s household is marked by a chilling routine. Each time her father, Corey, struggles with food and turns blue, panic sets in. Her mother, Jenny, leaps into action, attempting the Heimlich maneuver as Kylie frantically calls 911, her mind racing with fear and uncertainty about her father’s survival.

This anxiety has been part of Kylie’s life since she was just three years old. A roadside bomb in Iraq inflicted such severe injuries on Corey that doctors indicated to Jenny that she should prepare for his funeral. Thus began Kylie’s life with a father who battles numerous disabilities—his inability to swallow, his impaired mobility, and his struggles with communication have been constants.

From a young age, Kylie took on caretaking responsibilities. Whether helping with medication administration or transporting her father’s wheelchair to her university’s sorority house, she played a pivotal role in providing support. “This is just life for us,” Kylie reflects, indicating the normalcy they’ve adopted amid hardship.

Despite the isolation often felt by children in similar situations, Kylie is not alone. Current estimates suggest around 2.3 million American children live with a disabled veteran, a figure many researchers believe is underestimated.

These injured veterans and their caregivers have recently been dubbed “hidden heroes,” but the children supporting them—referred to as “hidden helpers” by the Elizabeth Dole Foundation—remain largely overlooked. These young caretakers deal with responsibilities that range from managing siblings during VA appointments to providing emotional support and helping with household chores.

Despite their numbers, the needs of military caregiving kids are scarcely acknowledged in discussions about veteran care. Often excluded from studies and support programs, these young individuals are in dire need of resources tailored to their unique experiences.

As President Trump’s administration pushes for federal spending cuts, concerns arise over the potential impacts on veterans’ benefits—an alarming prospect for families already struggling to cope with the aftermath of injuries sustained in service.

The War Horse has embarked on a mission to highlight the stories of affected families, including the Briests from South Dakota, along with families from North Carolina and Virginia. Their aim is to reassure other hidden helpers and raise awareness about their challenges.

Kylie’s feelings are complex; she expresses no resentment toward her father’s condition. “My dad has never been a burden. He never will be,” she asserts. However, she acknowledges the lack of emotional and psychological support can exacerbate the challenges they face. Kylie believes more access to counseling and community connections could have provided her with strength and resilience at an earlier age.

The Elizabeth Dole Foundation conducted a study indicating hidden helpers often suffer from isolation, stigma, and mental health challenges stemming from their caregiving roles. Young caregivers may grapple with stress, burnout, and fatigue, which can hinder their academic performance and social opportunities.

Jennifer Briest points out the shift in VA priorities from exclusively serving veterans to also recognizing the role of primary caregivers, yet children remain largely ignored. “It’s taken time but they are including the caregiver… The kids? No. None. Nothing,” she laments.

Child caregivers frequently bear responsibilities that can accelerate their maturity. Delany White, an eighth-grader from North Carolina, manages unique challenges while caring for her sister Kimmy, an Army veteran who was severely injured in an accident. Delany often puts on her sister’s makeup, helps her with mobility, and navigates the emotional landscape of their household, sometimes sacrificing her own social life and academic performance in the process.

Mark and Michael, half-brothers from Virginia, describe their father Charlie’s unpredictable behavior stemming from PTSD and a traumatic brain injury. They recall the stark contrast in their father’s moods—at times engaging and nurturing, at other moments withdrawn and engulfed in despair, heavily reliant on alcohol to cope with his inner turmoil.

These young caregivers express a desire for better resources and understanding surrounding their parents’ conditions. Michael emphasizes the need for more information on invisible wounds like PTSD and the importance of recognizing the unique challenges they present in caregiving.

Despite the obstacles they face, each sibling finds strength in their experiences, shaping their compassionate and responsible natures. Kylie has pursued a career as a NICU nurse, passionate about providing care not only for patients but to entire families. Delany views her caregiving role as transformative, stating it has fostered kindness and empathy within her. Michael has initiated a support club for fellow student caregivers, seeking to connect those in similar situations.

Legislative efforts are underway to enhance support for these families, notably the introduction of the Helping Heroes Act, which aims to create family support programs and collect vital data on military caregiving households. However, skepticism lingers regarding the passage of this act amid federal budget cuts. The voices of hidden helpers are slowly gaining traction, but significant barriers remain.

In an era that demands resilience, young caregivers like Kylie, Delany, and Michael show that their experiences, while arduous, have instilled strength and compassion. They recognize that their roles extend beyond simple caregiving to encompassing hope, understanding, and the commitment to ensure that no one feels alone in the struggle.